Fear of Flying
B Y D A N I E L J A C O B
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As the energies on the planet continue to rise, my thoughts turn to an old Erica Jong book, from the 70s (I think). It's called "Fear of Flying."
During the time when I took my first Metaphysics 101 class in Lynnwood, Washington, there was lots of conversation about how each of us creates our own reality, and how every part of that reality is a kind of mirror to reflect back to us who we are.
During one such discussion, a class member shared: "I have a kind of toggle switch inside myself. When I internally decide to "go for it," in one or more areas of my life, I can begin to feel a sense of extreme acceleration. Opportunities begin to appear, problems get solved, and my head starts to spin. At such times, to my own bafflement, I will sometimes choose to turn the switch off again, putting up various energy blocks so things will slow down and become more manageable."
We discovered that these energy blocks can take the form of addictions---to substances (such as food, drugs, alcohol), sexual addictions, work addiction, etc. They serve as DEFLECTORS and DEPLETERS of energy that would otherwise be utilized for stepping up consciousness into the next expanded levels of vibration. In other words, they ground us so that we can't fly.
Erica's book approaches the issue from a standpoint of feminine sexuality---a fear of opening fully to allow ALL of self out to play, and ALL our Beloved in to stay. One of the points of frustration I hear from many women today is that they are having a hard time finding a partner who matches their energy flow. Not long ago, I had a chance to share with a woman who spoke about the failure of the many romantic partners who have passed through her life. She said: "The problem with me is that I usually tend to wear my men out. They get very excited with me and my lifestyle in the beginning, but then they are unable to keep up with me after the novelty of sex has worn off." Then she sighed, and added: "I guess I'll never be able to experience a long-term relationship."
This, of course, got me thinking. I wasn't wanting to go into a he/she polarity dispute with her, nor did I take offense (as a man) to what she was saying. My mind was spinning deeper than that. I found myself OWNING this expression of dismay as my own, a cry from my own inner feminine---and asking what was underneath it. Thus, my remembrance of the book, and my renewed interest in taking a look at humanity's FEAR OF FLYING.
A person who has the frequent experience of "my partners just can't keep up with me" has created a SPLIT within his/her universe. One "side" of the split is wearing the role of "initiator," while the other "side" mirrors back resistance, perhaps in the form of apathy. Oftentimes, the partner who sees or senses the apathy will not verbalize a complaint about it, even though the passion felt is a negative one. In this way, he or she gets to be IN CONTROL of the passion. Romantic Partners are chosen and dispatched based entirely on their ability to sustain a "status quo" to support this underlying belief: "People just can't keep up with me."
Very few people are truly conscious they are doing this, or seeking it. When discovering this trait in myself, I realized that part of it came from a "Personal Law" I held since childhood. It was formed when my child self realized how tired out my mother was in taking care of me. She had me late in life, and was not the young person my older sister knew. So I naturally began running on the belief: "I am too much to handle." What's underneath this belief, and the proliferation of "Resistant Partners" who support it, is an absolute TERROR of being personally pushed out of our "comfort zone" or challenged beyond an acceptable emotional level.
The physical world is really a House of Mirrors. If we are busy trying to push or pull our world to "keep up with us," and we are getting no satisfactory response........it is WE, OURSELVES who are resisting. We have turned the "toggle switch" down low or "off." The appearance of "partners who can't keep up with me" is a reflection of how WE are not allowing ourselves to keep up with the promptings of an Expanded Self.
Underneath the WOUND of having been "hurt" during a former "flight"---which is often used as an excuse for why we cannot let go and trust our energy to truly guide us---there is this FEAR OF FLYING.
We tell ourselves that "I just can't open up and trust because of the terrible thing that__________did to me." We build up scar(e) tissue around this "wound" and it makes us dense and inflexible so that profound states of spiritual activation cannot be achieved or maintained. We are only limiting ourselves.........which is FINE, by the way, if more Limitation is what we want.
Is this true in your life? Do you project your "resistance and apathy" out onto your partners, claiming that they just can't keep up with you? Do you blame some past hurt for your lack of willingness to spread your wings now? What, really, is holding you back?
More and more, I am beginning to observe that "past hurts" have very little to do with our Now Moment resistance to Spirit. We are bogging ourselves down with empty excuses. Underneath it all is FEAR OF FLYING. Fear of LETTING GO, and not being in control of what happens. And if we do get up and flying, we must remember that "any landing you can walk away from is a good landing." And, we must also remember that Spirit will sometimes take us places where no man or woman has gone before. Are we willing to grab onto the "chicken grips" and let that happen?
Copyright, 2000, by Daniel Jacob. All Rights Reserved. May be copied and shared, for purposes of personal growth and/or research, so long as the above URL and this copyright are included. All reproduction for profit, by any means, requires the written permission of Reconnections, Inc.
