An Empty Chair, An Empty Cup

by Daniel Jacob

My last article addressed an "empty chair" at many tables in our world today: a Father who has left, or was never there in the first place. There are many reasons this may be so. Perhaps Dad has been killed in the service of his country. There are lots of soldiers today who fly off to Iraq, never to return. Or maybe he decided he no longer wants to be married, so he's gone away to recover parts of his own "inner child" that never got to develop. Perhaps Mom never married him because all she really wanted was a baby, not a life partnership. The reasons can be as varied as the people involved. But the VOID in the life of the children left behind always seems the same.

As I said before, the essence of Fatherhood is initiative, wisdom, and provision for daily need. The essence of Motherhood is sensitivity, hospitality, and nurturing of heart and soul. These are roles, not people. In a Oneness Economy, each person carries his own set of "parents" inside, regardless of gender. So each person represents a mixture of Father/Mother vibes. But in Separation, there always seems to be someone or something missing---some VOID we are seeking to fill.

When one parent leaves the family picture, the other parent usually combines BOTH sets of responsibilities into one job description. I know this from personal experience. My boys' mother passed away when they were 7 and 11 years old, and I raised them alone from that point on. Several great women have come into our lives, but no one ever felt quite right to take over that "mother" role. Over time, I gradually found myself becoming a "Father-Mother."

Have you ever heard the phrase "Jack of all trades, Master of none?" That's what it's like being a "Father-Mother." Some of the initiative, strength and wisdom that a traditional Father brings to the party tended to get lost in my efforts to fill in blanks of sensitivity and nurturing. And I'm sure the situation is similar (though reversed) when a woman tries to play out the role of "Mother-Father."

In our case, I can see the divine nature of this life plan. There were hardships to it, of course. But there were also many benefits. For one thing, I learned how to integrate my inner masculine and feminine energies, in preparation for my life purpose of expounding upon the New Paradigm of Universal Oneness. I simply had to do it. We all carry both "sides" of the energy spectrum in us, but many don't get a chance to develop and utilize their gender-opposite traits and abilities. I did. And it has made a huge difference. Still, my boys did suffer a bit from what I call an "Empty Cup."

The Missed Of Avalon

The Reconnections once sent through a transmission about an area in Southern England called "Glastonbury." This is a part of England that was once known as Avalon. Our group was having a Conclave there in 2005, and the Guides wanted to give us some background on English lore, particularly those stories having to do with King Arthur, Morgan le Fey, and the Avalon itself. (Actually, there were originally 7 islands of Avalon, but that's another story). In a play on the name of Marion Zimmer Bradley's famous book, they entitled their message "The Missed of Avalon."

It was explained to us that two important symbols have become icons to symbolize the Divine Masculine (the blade, symbolizing intellect and reason) and the Divine Feminine (the cup, symbolizing intuition and emotion). And what has been "missed" from Avalon is the soul essence of that CUP, which has also become known as The Holy Grail. Since 2005, a strong infusion of new ideas has come to the world through "The Da Vinci Code," Dan Brown's mega-hit story about Goddess Energy, Mary Magdalene, and a Sacred Blood Line. The search for a person's own "Cup" is now referred to as a "Grail Quest." Let's take a look at that for a moment, shall we?

Basically, humanity has gone so much into our "head" that we've forgotten we have emotions. And we've become so absorbed in following the letter of God's laws that we've forgotten about the Spirit of God/Goddess (which the Gnostics called Sophia Wisdom) which indwells our soul, and nurtures us through each moment of our life journey. This has left us with sword in hand, but no cup to hold our life's blood, our mysteries of the heart.

When King Arthur betrayed his alliance with Avalon, and began placing more emphasis on his Christian Heritage, the Realm of Camelot, and the Round Table he had built began to crumble. You might say that Camelot became a "motion" which died for lack of a second. The Power of the Goddess went into hiding---even as Avalon, with all its magic and power, drifted into mists of human forgetfulness. That power hid, but not entirely. In place of the "Old Ways" of Paganism, a new emphasis on Mary Worship began to spring forth. In the Mother of Jesus we embodied all those ideal elements we missed so much from our Lost Goddess. But something inside still yearns for more.

Where Did She Go?

In the greater sense, The Mother (capital "M") has been missing for generations. There are women around who bear her name and act out her ways for us, and that's always very sweet. It's especially sweet when "She" appears to belong to US! But in the Big Picture, Mother is still missing in action. One need only look at the newspaper to see that. All these wars, genocides, rebellions, and corruption are direct symptoms pointing to lack of love, sensitivity, and nurturing. The Masculine is more concerned with money and power than it is with relationships and feelings.

This reason-oriented, materialistic societal structure has virtually choked off the energy of "Heart Wisdom" in our midst. In it's place, a dog-eat-dog brutality has sprung forth. Women (as a gender) are suppressed, and femininity (as a quality) is scorned as well---except where it can be enlisted to give us sexual pleasure, tend to the housekeeping, and put our kiddies to bed.

Just as it was hard for me to fully portray "Dad" in my own household because I was doing Father-Mother, it must be hell for a woman to be comforting and nurturing to her kids while she is forced to hold down three jobs, clean house, cook, and regularly run out to mow the front lawn.

Whenever a marriage fails, leaving children to grow up in a home without benefit of both parental viewpoints---the local community needs to step in. If they don't, those ailing kids will step out......causing trouble everywhere we look. Hillary Clinton once wrote: "It takes a village to raise a child." And that is certainly true. Conversely, it sometimes takes a child to galvanize a village. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris certainly galvanized a village, didn't they? And we've already mentioned the power exercised by Seung Lui Cho. How many more tragedies have to occur before we stop repeating that insipid ancient question "Am I my brother's keeper?"

Another strong point I tried to make last month was an expression of my incredulity that husbands and wives are still shocked when they notice the "love" they married into no longer works the way it once did. Such a situation isn't rare and it isn't tragic. It's inevitable. People change, relationships change. Too much familiarity will breed contempt. It's the way of the world. Because we've built a "fidelity and faithfulness" clause into our modern concepts of marriage, promising "till death do us part," may Fathers and Mothers cling to an outmoded format for relating, long after it carries any impact.

A Child-Friendly Society

I will not take time here to review all the points mentioned in my series "A Child-Friendly Society." But if what I'm saying here strikes a chord in your heart, dear reader, you may want to follow the link and read over those six chapters. The principles expounded there don't just solve the problems of physical children. They also deal with the needs of the internal "Magical Children" living within us all.

Our traditional ideas about marriage and family originally evolved from economic concerns, not needs of the heart. From the get-go, marriage was a contract, a business arrangement---designed to insure that goods and property could be passed on, from generation to generation, in manners pleasing to those who did the passing. This is why so many societies cling to the idea of arranged marriage. Since money, power, and legacy belongs to the parents, they feel they also have a right to manipulate the lives of their kids in order to satisfy their ego needs and designs. To underscore this, religious guilt and dogma have now been dumped into the mix, threatening to pollute whatever nurturing and joy might come from a clear relationship to God.

The Reconnections bring this to the fore in their transmission entitled "Families of the Heart," brought through in 2004. Speaking about vast evolutions in society that are set to occur over the next 5-10 years, they told us:

"The nuclear family continues to explode. We do not mean to sound facetious here, but a little humor often serves to soften a blow. We speak, of course, about your definition of "family" that derives itself from connection through marriage, bloodline, political or religious tradition, and ancestry.

In truth, these elements do have power, and will continue to hold power. But their value exists primarily within the implicate order that they have provided for your life in 3D. You might think of them as givens or starting equations that make up the "rules" for your Grand Game. As such, they have served you well. But, by no means, were they meant to dictate your entire physical journey.

For every implicate order there must also be a voluntary commitment to nourish and support it. Where there is no conscious choice, there is no genuine love. There is only a sense of obligation and heaviness. Though these qualities do provide a rudimentary sense of security and grounding, they often stand directly in the way of a person moving beyond his heritage into a whole new area of achievement and personal realization.

Any successful "marriage"--whether it be a merge of business partners, living partners, project participants, players of team sports, or whatever--needs to be built upon common goals, common circumstance, and a common perspective. When your sense of commonality departs, the marriage is over--whether or not the official partnership has been dissolved. In some cases today, what is being called a "marriage union" in your society energetically bears resemblance to a person who has died, but has refused to fall down.

There is a reason that "God and Government" need to be separate in society. For the last 2000 years, religion has largely been a divider of peoples, not a unifier of them. That is because your relationship to God/Goddess/All That Is was designed to be a personal connection, not a corporate one. This has always been true of marriage as well. In fact, successful marriages--ones that are kept vital and current--will eventually become the only government you will ever need."

And there we have it. An empty chair, a missing Dad. An empty cup, a missing Mother. There are even homes in this world where the question of "missing" doesn't really apply, because "Mother and Father," in the classic sense, never arrived at all. They are simply children, dressed in adult clothes. Children raising other children.

Definitely more to come.  Stay tuned.


2007, Daniel Jacob


Daniel Jacob
is a conscious channel, writer, and a Bio-Energetic Body Worker who lives in the Greater Seattle area. He owns and operates Myo-Rehab Therapy Associates - a multi-therapy clinic - in Kirkland, Washington, which specializes in muscular rehabilitation, stress management, and personal transition work. He has been in practice for 22 years. On 11/11/91, he began working with a group of energies that called themselves "The Reconnections." Daniel has developed a complete archive of information that has come through them on a number of relevant topics. Daniel and his Associates have been doing research with people around the world, collating data and comparing notes on the topics of Physical Transmutation and Earth Changes. He has produced a 2-Part CD, on which he explains the story of "The Star Children" in depth. He calls it a "tonal infusion for the New Age." For more information about Daniel and his work visit,, or e-mail him directly at: