"I've Found What I've Been Looking For"

B Y   A .  H. 

Dear Daniel:

I came across your website and am so thankful that I did! I know you're interested for people to share their stories, so I'd like to share mine with you.  A few months prior to my 30th birthday, I went through a very rough period. I had a baby last January, and had some medical issues that had gotten out of control that my doctors put me on anti-depressants, which made me feel like I lost myself, completely numb...but that's when my spiritual awakening happened. I had gone to an acupuncturist in the past and I thought why not try it, as a last resort. He actually referred me to the movie "The Secret" and that's when my life changed. I have a friend who started "her path" about a year before I did and she had tried to get me to read spiritual material (Louise Hay, to be specific) but I just wasn't ready. Well after I saw The Secret and told her how excited I was about it, I think she knew I was ready and re-introduced me to the material that changed my life. That was back in September and I've been growing more and more every day - I am a sponge and can't get enough. I feel so alone, yet so complete at the same time - I've found what I've been looking for.

Ever since I can remember, I've had this feeling of being a loner - just never fit in, felt awkward in every situation, even within my own family. Have you ever watched the movie "The Truman Show" with Jim Carrey? That was MY movie! I felt so connected to this poor man, my whole life I sort of felt like I was alone and everyone else was watching me from behind mirrors, that everyone else was almost a puppet of some sort, I don't know how else to describe it, but that I knew I was meant for "something".

I also have always had the feeling that (and bear with me because this is also a bit difficult to explain) if I could break off a part of myself and let "it" go into it's own little world, and let that little part of myself forget who "it" was, but knowing in the end that "it" would return back to "me" and that everything would be okay, that I would go ahead and let "it" go on and do it's journey. This feeling has only made sense to me since my spiritual awakening - I finally understand why I've always had that feeling, even though a little part of me still thinks I just made it up when I was little and that it wasn't my higher self that instilled that bit of knowledge with me.

Pandoiante:  Relief for a Troubled Soul

From the Reconnections, via the Arcturians

I also recently found out that I was abducted when i was ~3 years old- possibly along with my twin sister, but I'm not sure yet. I'd go into details about what my body remembers, but it's a bit too "fresh" for me to discuss. My memory was erased, which makes sense because I have no memories of anything prior to this age - not even bits and pieces. Right after this happened, I went into a very dark place. My mom always told me that I went through a period (at this same age!) when I drew nothing but dark pictures, everything was black and sadness. I don't remember this exactly, but the cells of my body remember what happened. I am learning to come to peace with this because I know it happens to many starseeds/lightworkers (which I'm on the path to start my own holistic healing practice) and I know it's done for our evolutionary purposes...it still bothers me though!

Anyway, I gorged myself on spiritual books and healing my past (whew, is there a lot of stuff to overcome, but I think that too is typical of us, to overcome the darkness), and trying to deal with the stresses in my relationships with my newfound path - it's not an easy one to take on or discuss with others who are not yet ready, or who are scared...very different vibration, amazing how you can really FEEL it. I'm still on a healing quest, but about 2 months after I was awakened, an angel visited me and boy did she/it scare me at first! I had been reading up on astral projection and she told me it was safe to "visit" them - I had a lot of fear at the time and had also gotten an "attachment" of a more negative nature/entity, which I got rid of as soon as I found out it was there through Theta Healing (it attached to me during a chakra clearing meditation and I hadn't protected myself and I was in a much lower vibration just starting out).

I've also always been enchanted by mystical movies, especially those of Jim Henson - I love The Story Teller series, The Never Ending Story, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal. Music is also my life, I can't survive without it. For several months now (after receiving a Reconnective Healing Session), I have had this odd high pitched ringing/buzzing in my ears that happens a few times a day for just a few seconds...I read on your (or someone else's?) website that those are downloads coming through - thank goodness I know now what it was, I was thinking it was my guides or angels trying to tell me something (which perhaps it could be that too). After I saw my first angel, I was told that more galactic beings would make contact with me...boy were they right! The more I meditate, the more I see them...the less I meditate, the less they appear. I got to the point where I was seeing them (and talking to them, via our minds) every time I closed my eyes - they are so beautiful, mostly from Arcturus.

I think the most difficult part for me has been the loneliness that I've felt since I've started this path. I've always felt like I didn't quite belong, but this just puts me more out of touch with the 3d world that I just don't understand why we do things the way we do - why doesn't everyone recycle, it's so easy? why don't more people use cloth diapers? why why why has always gone through my head of why we did things so backwards and not in respect of our Earth and home and for the animals that we should love - that's another thing, I've ALWAYS been a huge fan of nature (camping, hiking, etc.) and animals have always been my children, especially cats. Everyone always called me the crazy cat lady and I just never understood how someone couldn't love animals with the crazy intensity that I do. I'm at the point now where I can't even kill the cabinet beetles and their larvae that get into our pantry...I put them in a jar and when it warms up again I'll put them back into the wild. it was interesting though, a friend told me if you meditate and ask them politely to leave, they just might. Sure enough, I tried it and I haven't seen one in my house in months! I'm still saving my little jar of them until it gets warm though    :)

I share my insight with anyone who will listen, I just wish there were more but I know they will come. I think it's amazing and wonderful that you can channel this information. I haven't developed my psychic skills enough (and interestingly, I don't remember having any of those skills as a kid), but I do have my psychic vision skill that I'm working on for now. I know the others will come in time and with practice.

Phew! That was a lot, and I have to thank you for the opportunity for letting me get this out there. I hope your work continues and grows an even larger audience of followers. Please let me know if you have any questions.  

If you would like to share with A.H., or ask her any questions please e-mail me at webtalk@reconnections.net,   She will be a continuing contributor to the site, and I know she would love to be of help to anyone in need!   ~DJ



Copyright, 2010, by A.H.  All Rights Reserved